By Love and For Love

A father is talking to his young son at the breakfast table. “How do you like your new roller blades?” he asks. The son replies, “They’re great! I love them.” Capturing the opportunity, the father continues. “Careful son. Love is a word that should only be said if you really mean it. You see, love is an emotion reserved only for special connections. For example, you love me and your mother; you love your brothers and sisters, but you do not feel the same about the roller blades as you do your family.” The young man answers, “I get it, dad! Thank you. I just like my roller blades, but I really love my new hockey stick.” 


The English language can be confusing. We use the same words to express so
many different aspects of our lives, all with their own merit and individual intent. For example, in the conversation between father and son, both use the word love to define something held dear. Their perspectives, understanding, and personal points of view, however, are quite different but valued at the same time. We too act in a similar way. We even apply terms as synonyms, that if looked at more carefully, can fundamentally alter the meaning of our discussions. The same can said about love in the exchange between Jesus and Simon Peter in today’s Gospel. This time, however, we can get some insight by the Greek language. 

The two words used for love in the reading are ‘Agape’ (ἀγάπη) and ‘Phileo’ (φιλέω). Agape signifies a selfless, sacrificial, unconditional, and divine type of love. It is the highest form as exemplified by Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. Phileo, on the other hand, refers to brotherly and affectionate love. In context, while asking Peter three times, “Do you love me?” and each time inviting him to feed and tend His sheep, Jesus asks for love that is both self-giving (agape) and affectionate (phileo). This reflects our invitation today as we consider how to care for and support one another. 


Each of us is called to aim for agape love in our relationships with God and our neighbors. Such efforts strengthen our ability to also achieve phileo love. As Pope Benedict XVI said in 2009, “Self-sacrifice in imitation of Christ is the key to the Christian life.”
In short, placing God first in our lives through prayer, humility, gentleness, and selflessness, we open the door to recognizing His face in others. Our role is to become active participants in the process.